gwinchy

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga maingay ang mga Manok?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga matigas ang manoy?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga mahamog?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga madaming nagwawalis?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga may nagsisiga ng mga basura at tuyong dahon?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga amoy sinangag at tuyo?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga kailangan mag-kape?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga may muta ang mata?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga may panis na laway?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga ang hirap maligo ng malamig na tubig?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga kailangan sabihin ay Good Morning? paano na yung mga masama ang sinapit?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga magulo ang buhok?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga maingay din ang mga maliliit na ibon, gumagaya sa mga manok?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga tulog ang mga paniki?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga wala na si mister sa tabi ni misis?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga wala na si misis sa tabi ni mister?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga wala pa din si mister?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga pauwi palang si mister?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga pauwi palang si misis?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga umiiyak ang mga sanggol?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga masarap makinig ng balita?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga lumalabas ang plema?

Bakit kaya tuwing umaga haaayyy ang dami ko ng nasabi…pero Bakit kaya tuwing umaga makati ang pwet? yun talaga ang lubos na iniisip ko? ano kayang meron sa pwet bakit siya makati? o anong binibigay ng umaga sa pwet natin?

ster·e·o·graph (stĕr‘ē-ə-grăf‘, stîr‘-)
n.

Two stereoscopic pictures or one picture with two superposed stereoscopic images, designed to give a three-dimensional effect when viewed through a stereoscope or special glasses.

tr.v., -graphed, -graph·ing, -graphs.

       Sa mga nagdaang araw, ang araw ng martes ang hindi ko makalimutan. Malamang iniisip mo na ngayon kung bakit. Noon, akala ko ang mga Anghel ay yung mga nilalang lamang na galing sa langit at may pakpak. Hindi pala. May mga Anghel din pala na nasa paligid lang natin at hindi natin napapansin, dinadaan daanan lang natin sa kalsada, nakakasalubong  sa loob ng mall, sa palengke, sa loob ng simbahan, sa restaurant at kung saan saan pa. Pero naiba ang lahat ng aking paniniwala ng makakilala ako ng isang Anghel na nandito lamang sa lupa. Maraming beses na din akong nakakita ng mga ganitong klaseng Anghel. At hindi si Angel Locsin o Angel Aquino o Angela Velez ang tinutukoy ko dito. Ang aking tinutukoy ay yung mga taong nakilala ko. Mga taong hindi ko akalain na isa palang Anghel na magpapatibok ng puso ko. Anghel ang tawag ko sa kanila, Kahit hindi ko sila ganun kakilala, kahit na saglit palang kaming nagkasama, kahit na sa huli ay pinaiyak nila ako at sinugatan ang aking puso.
       Noong Martes ay may isang Angel na naman akong nakilala, isang Anghel na nagbuhay na naman sa puso kong uhaw sa pag-ibig. Pagkakita ko palang sa kanya, parang tumigil ang lahat ng nasa paligid ko at ang tanging nakikita ko lang na gumagalaw at may kulay ay siya, parang nasa ibang mundo ako ibang dimensyon, huminto ang oras. Pero bumalik ang lahat sa normal at bumilis ulit ang oras ng nasa harapan ko na siya at nagbikas ng salita. Bakas sa mukha ko ang sobrang galak sobrang saya…"Haaaayyy isang Anghel na naman…" sabi ko sa isip ko. Sandali lang kaming nagsama ng Anghel, halos 3 oras lang, pero kakaiba talaga ang pakiramdam kapag isang Anghel ang kasama mo. Naguumapaw ang saya, kahit saan ka magpunta ay parang may orkestrang tumutugtog at may iba pang mga Anghel na nagkakantahan sa hindi kalayuang distansya. Lahat kumpleto, walang problema, magaan ang pakiramdam at parang nakalutang ka sa mga ulap. Yun ang mga naramdaman ko sa mga oras na yun, kagaya din noong mga naramdaman ko sa iba pang mga Anghel na nakilala ko noon pa.
          OO, baliw na naman ako, kung ano ano na naman ang nakikita ko, kung ano ano naman ang naiisip ko at kung ano ano na naman ang nararamdaman ko kahit na alam  kong hindi totoo yun at nilikha ko lang ito sa isip ko. Siguro ganun talaga ako kapag nakakaramdam ako ng matinding kasiyahan at kahit wala naman ginagawa sa akin ang sinasabi kong Anghel ay masaya na ako.Kahit hindi ko pa siya ganun kakilala, kahit na hindi ko alam kung saan kami tutungo, kahit na hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman niya para sa akin, kahit na alam kong maaring yun lang ang una at huli naming pagkikita masaya pa rin ako. Pero kung minsan, nakakalungkot din kapag naiisip ko siya, kapag naalala ko kung paano siya magsalita, ang boses niya ang mga magaganda niyang mga mata, ang paano siya maglakad, kung paano niya ako pinasaya kahit hindi niya alam na napasiya niya ako. Nakakalungkot dahil sa ngayon hindi ko alam kung makikita ko pa ba siya, makakasama ko pa ba siya ng mas matagal pa sa halos 3 oras. Hindi ko alam kung kanino ko kukunin ang  mga sagot, oras at panahon lang ang makakapagsabi sa akin.
      Kung nasaan man siya ngayon, sana ay nasa mabuti siyang kalagayan, sana marami pa siyang mapasaya, sana iniisip din niya ako kahit paminsan minsan, sana magkita pa ulit kami at sana sa susunod naming pagkikita siya naman ang aking mapasaya. At kung hindi man mangyayari ang mga inaasahan ko. Sana makita ko nalang siya kahit sa panaginip lang. Dahil yun nalang ang natitirang paraan para makasama ko ulit ang isang Anghel na katulad niya.

L imang tulog nalang at pasko na. Nakabili ka na ba ng mga pangreregalo mo? ako hindi pa, pero may listahan na ako at mamaya magpupunta ako ng mall para magbutas ng aking bulsa. Ako ang tipo ng tao na hindi na umaasa na may magbigay pa sa akin ng regalo pabalik, pero kung mayroon man magbibigay, syempre tatanggapin ko at matutuwa. Naalala ko pa noong bata ako, palagi nalang akong umiiyak tuwing sasapit na ang pasko, bakit? ikaw ba naman ang mamatayan ng mga ninong at isa nalang ang matira sa iyo hindi ka iiyak? Ang halos nagsilbing ninong ko nalang noon ay ang tatay ko, bukod dun sa isa pang natira, yung kapatid ng nanay ko na hanggang ngayon ay nandyan pa din. Isang dahilan kaya ako naiiyak ay dahil tuwing nireregaluhan ang katapid ko ng mga ninong niya ay tuwang tuwa siya, habang ako naman ay nasa sulok ng sofa nalang at nanonood kung paano siya nagagalak sa mga natatanggap niya, hanggang sa mapapansin ko nalang na tumutulo na pala yung luha ko, pakiramdam ko kasi noon na parang walang nagmamahal sa akin, bata pa kasi ako noon, grade school student pa lang. Kapag nakita na ako ng tatay kong umiiyak ako, aamuhin na ako nito at bibigyan ako ng regalo para mahimasmasan ako. Dun palang ako matitigil kakahikbi at magiging masaya. Salamat Daddy! Almost 6 years ka na rin naming hindi nakakasama.I really miss you!
          Madalas din  tuwing pasko noon ay nagpupunta kami sa mga bahay bahay, kasi yung kalye na tinitirahan namin ay halos magkakakilala ang lahat, kaya kaming mga bata ay namamasko sa kung saan saang bahay, lalo na kay Brgy. Captain na nagbibigay ng mga dalawang pisong papel na kulay bughaw sa mga batang kagaya ko. Swerte ka na kapag nabigyan ka ng tumatagingting na limang pisong papel na kulay berde naman.Bukod pa yun mga pamamasko na yun sa ilang gabing pangangaroling namin kung saan saan.Minsan may nakakasalubong pa kaming mga nagiinuman sa kalye at pakakantahin kami ng kung ano ano tapos ang ibibigay lang pala ay piso.Pero ayos na din yun kaysa wala.Kapag wala naman nagbibigay, kami nalang ang nagbibigay, binibigyan namin sila ng walang kamatayang awitin na "Thank you, Thank you…ANG BABARAT NINYO THANK YOU" sabay takbo!…Natigil lang akong mag-caroling noong mag- High School na ako,siguro 3rd year High School.
          Iba na ngayon, hindi na ako umiiyak tuwing sasapit ang pasko, kahit sangkatutak pa ang matanggap ng kapatid ko na regalo na galing kung kani-kanino, Kahit wala na ang pangangaroling sa mga iba’t ibang bahay at sa mga nakakasalubong na mga lasenggo sa kalye.  Siguro ang pinakanakakalungkot nalang na parte ay dahil wala ang tatay ko sa piling namin. Bibisitahin nalang namin ang puntod niya pagdating ng araw ng pasko at pagtitirikan ng kandila at aalayan ng dasal.

        A ng saya saya ko noong isang gabi, noong biyernes. Kasi lumabas kami ng mga barkada ko at nagbilyar kami.Hindi naman masyadong madami ang nainom ko. katamataman lang pero nahilo pa din ako ng bahagya. Kumanta pa ako sa stage ng kung ano-ano, apat na beses akong kumanta, yung dalawang kanta kasama ko yung isa kong kaibigan. Pagkatapos namin uminom ay nagpunta muna kami sa isang kapihan. Doon palang nakakaramdam na ako ng pananakit ng lalamunan, nasobrahan na yata ako sa puyat, sa stress, sa paninigarilyo o baka dahil sa pagkanta noong gabing yun. Umuwi nalang ako sa bahay ng barkada ko pagkatapos namin gumimik.Nakatulog naman ako ng maayos, kaso pagkagising ko ay talagang sobra na ang sakit ng lalamunan ko pero kaya ko pa naman magsalita, kaso hindi ako makalunok ng maayos.
        Dumiretso na ako sa trabaho ko bago pa magtanghalian noon, kasi ang venue namin noong araw na yun ay sa Calamba Laguna pa. Maayos pa ako noong tanghali na yun, Binati pa nga ako ng Tiyahin ko, sabi niya blooming daw ako noong araw na yun at pakanta kanta pa ako.Bumiyahe na kami ng bespren ko papunta laguna,natulog nalang ako sa bus. Pagdating namin sa venue namin ay nagsimula na kaagad kaming magtrabaho. Inabot kami ng 6:30 ng gabi sa pagpipinta at inabot din kami ng ulan. Ayun, sumugod kami sa ulan na pabugso bugso dahil sa kagutsuhan namin makabalik na ng maynila, masakit pa din ang lalamunan ko noon pero nakakanta pa naman ako. Nahirapan kaming makasakay pagdating sa High-way, pero sa awa ng diyos ay nakasakay din kami. Natulog nalang ako sa bus kasi unti unti ng bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko. Pagdating ng maynila, sa cubao, wala na akong boses, malat na malat na ako at hindi na talaga ako makapagsalita ng maayos at parang sasabayan pa ng lagnat. Pagpadpad namin ng opisina, Nagpahinga nalang ako kaagad. Naisip ko kasi na baka kailangan ko lang ng magandang pahinga. Pagkagising ko, ganun pa din ang pakiramdam ko, walang pagbabago, lalo pang sumakit ang lalamunan ko, sabi pa nga ng kaibigan ko bronchitis na daw yun eh, hindi naman ako naniniwala kasi loko yun eh. Nagpunta nalang ako kaagad ng drugstore para magtanong ng mainam na lunas para sa masakit na lalamunan.Strepsils lang daw sabi ng tindero, kaya yun ang binili ko at mainam nga siya. Noong gabi palang ay bumalik na ulit ang dati kong boses, kaya ko na ulit tumili, magpalseto kaya ko na ulit dumaldal ng dumaldal. Nawala na din ang lagnat ko hanggang natapos ang buong araw ko kahapon ng may ngiti sa aking mukha at kagalakan sa aking puso.
           EHEM EHEM! pagkagising ko kanina, mabigat na naman ang katawan ko masakit na naman ang lalamunan, pero nakakapagsalita naman ako. Nahihirapan lang akong lumunok   at ang dami kong plema. Siguro dahil sa paninigarilyo at sa panahon. Kilala ko kasi ang sarili ko, mahina ako pagdating ng panahon ng tag-lamig, madaling bumigay ang sistema ko. Mamaya lalabas na naman ako, magpupunta sa mall para bumili ng mga pangregalo. Magdadala na ako ng mainam na sweater para hindi ginawin ang katawan ko.
Sana madami akong mabili na mura lang at magandang klase, madami kasing sale ngayon sa mga malls eh at sana may matira sa aking pera pambili ng GAMEBOY ADVANCE SP!!!

Mood : SICK!
Song : Sometimes you cant make it on your own  by U2

Isang gabi pag-log in ko sa friendster,may nakita akong cute.Picture palang niya,nakuha na niya ang atensyon ko.Kaya naman sinulatan ko kaagad siya para itanong sa kanya kung pwede bang makipagkilala.Pagkatapos kong sumulat,di ko maiwasang hindi tingnan ang maganda niyang larawan.fascinated ako,parang nakakita ako ng Anghel,basta parang ganun.Hanggang kinabukasan siya pa rin ang naiisip ko at umaasa sana ay sumagot siya sa sulat ko,na sana OK lang sa kanya na makipagkaibigan, na sana OK lang sa kanyang makipagkita balang araw.

       Kagabi nanood kami ng sine ng Sis ko at ng aking pamangkin.Pinanood namin ang King Kong, super ganda niya,nakaka-thrill talaga, lalo na yung eksena na naglaban sila ng 3 T-rex hanep ang SFX, ang lufet mo talaga Peter Jackson,youre the MAN!!!

         Ang dami daming tao sa mall sa kalsada sa kung saan saan lalo na ang pila ng ATM grabe! Kasi naman akinse kahapon,araw ng sahod kaya marami ding namimili at namamasyal kasama ang buong pamilya,syota,anak,pamangkin,kapatid,pinsan,lola,lolo,kumpare,kumare at syempre ang kabit na mas marami pang ipinamimili kaysa sa original LOL.

       Pagkatapos naming manood at magenjoy sa loob ng sinehan at take note, nakataas pa ang mga paa ko habang nanonood,feeling ko ako ang prinsipe ng brunei hehehe,ayun nga,nagpunta muna kami ng tiangge.Daming tindahan,may tindahan na puro damit,may tindahan na puro 10pesos lang ang lahat ng item,may tindahan ng pirated DVD, may tindahan ng pagkain, may tindahan ng pekeng halaman at may tindahan ng Adult toys, hehehe wala nun syempre!

          Sa tagal ng paglilibot namin sa tiangge, ang tanging nabili ko lang ay inuman na plastic na may print na Dora the explorer,50 pesos para kay pamangkin.Masaya naman siya sa lalagyanan niya ng begtu! Pagkatapos nun ay umuwi na rin kami para maabutan pa namin ang Joel in the Palace! Pagdating sa bahay,angat kaagad ako ng fone at inumpisahan ng makipagchikahan evuhr sa mga friendships ko. 3 ang nakausap ko kagabi kaso lahat saglit lang, then after that, nagsimula na akong mag-online,kasi past 12 na, libre na ang ISP connection. To end my story, nagbukas ulit ako ng friendster at laking gulat ko at may messages ako sa aking account, which is not usual. Pagbukas ko 3 messages ang natanggap ko, at nagulat ako ulit dahil sumagot na sa akin ang sinulatan ko,yung taong sinasabi ko na nakakuha ng atensyon ko.Di na ako nagpaligoy ligoy pa at dali dali kong pinindot ang mouse, binasa ko kaagad ang sulat niya…BLA BLA BLA BLA!!! pagkatapos kong basahin…OMG! alam mo ba ang naramdaman ko??? syempre hindi…parang gusto kong lumabas ng bahay at tumili sa tuwa pagkatapos kong basahin ang sulat niya sa akin.TALAGANG MASAYANG MASAYA AKO!….hinga ng malalim haaayyyy…SALAMAT LORD at masaya na naman ang pakiramdam ko, after several months of sadness. Pero paano kung nagiilusyon na naman ako.Ilusyonada ako..tama ilusyon lang ito, hindi dapat ako kaagad agad magreact, hindi dapat ako kaagad matuwa ng sobra, hindi ako dapat umasa ng kung ano ano,dapat kalmado lang, dapat wala muna masyadong effort na ibigay, dapat natural lang, pero dapat totoo ang lahat, gaya pa din dapat ng kung ano talaga ako. at dapat siguro itulog ko na to at malamang kaya ako nagkakaganito, kasi puyat na naman ako.

…sana mapanaginipan ko siya

MOOD: HAPPY

SONG: I’ll do everything by Jason Mraz

      Tinatamad na akong magsulat sa Blogs,wala naman kasi akong maisip isulat ngayon.Kanina ko pa gustong magsulat pero wala naman pumapasok sa kukote ko.Nakakailang stik na ako ng sigarilyo pero wala pa din akong maisip na isulat. Pakiramdam ko kasi parang may kulang sa araw ko, parang kakaiba ,siguro kulang lang ako sa pahinga. Ilang araw din kasi akong nasa labas ,punta sa kung saan saan, trabaho ,gumawa ng pera para may maipambili ako ng mga regalo sa mga magulang ,kapatid at mga kaibigan ko. May naipon na din naman ako ,pero gusto ko pang dagdagan para may matira pa sa akin pagdating ng bagong taon. Hindi lang kasi dapat ang pasko ang paghandaan ko ,kundi kasama na din ang pagpasok ng bagong taon. Maagang preparasyon ,balak ko kasing maghanap na ng trabaho sa susunod na taon at dapat lang ,kasi nakakahiya na sa pamilya ko at halos wala naman akong naiaambag sa bahay ,minsan naawa na din ako sa sarili ko ,kasi hindi ko na magawa ang mga bagay na talagang gustong gusto ko. Sabi ko noon, gusto kong mag-Exhibit ng painting by December ,pero dumating na ang December wala pa din nangyari. Gusto ko ding mag-trabaho bilang isang professor sa isang eskwelahan ,gusto kong magturo ng kung ano ano tungkol sa Fine Arts ,Magtatanong tanong nalang ako siguro sa iba’t ibang eskwelahan kung saan ako pwepwede kahit na part time lang. Gusto ko din mag-banda ,musikero sa isang Bar ,kahit na akustik lang ,kaso wala naman akong makasama. Siguro ang mas maganda ay gawin ko nalang muna ang mga bagay na sa tingin ko ay magagawa ko sa ngayon at planuhing mabuti ang mga balak ko para sa susunod na taon.

      Lumipas na ang oras at hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin malaman kung anong isusulat ko sa blogs ko. Siguro kailangan ko na munang magpahinga para umandar ng maganda ang utak ko. Marahil bukas ay may maganda na akong maisusulat. sana nga…sana nga.

Mood: Bored

Song: Brick by Ben folds five

     Guy to a girl:    Its not like what you think it is! Magkaibigan lang kami! Pwes kung ayaw mong maniwala edi wag. Sawang sawa na ako sa ugali mo! AYOKO NA! from now on, gawin mo ang gusto mong gawin at gagawin ko ang gusto kong gawin…wala na tayong pakialaman sa isa’t isa!!! MAGHIWALAY NA TAYO!!! 

-After the day, tumawag si Guy sa fone para mag-sorry, kung pwede bang patawarin siya sa mga nasabi at nagawa niya kanina. Pramis di na daw siya makikipagkita dun sa kaibigan.

- After a week,nakita yung Guy at ang kaibigan na magka-holding hands sa loob ng mall.

- After several month, syota na ng kaibigan niya yung Girl niya.

       Girl to a Guy :   May sasabihin ako sa iyo, alam ko masasaktan ka kapag nalaman mo ito, pero hindi ko na talaga kayang itago sa loob ko. wala naman sa iyo ang problema, wala kang ginawang mali, wala kang pagkukulang. Ang sa akin lang , hindi ko na kayang ituloy pa ang relasyon natin.Im sorry pero nahihirapan na ako. wala na akong oras na maibigay sa iyo, pasensya na kung nasaktan kita, walang ibang tao na nagtulak sa akin para gawin ko ito. sana maintindihan mo ako. Mahal na Mahal kita pero hanggang dito nalang talaga ang kayang kong gawin para sa iyo.

- After 2 Days, nagsososrry si Girl, gusto niyang makipagbalikan. Sana daw tanggapin pa din siya.

- After 3 Days, nagsososrry si Girl, gusto niyang makipagbalikan. Sana daw tanggapin pa din siya..pero, nalaman niya na meron ng iba yung Guy niya.

- Kinabukasan nakita si Girl na may syota ng iba na naglalakad sa park magkaholding hands pa habang nakikipaghalikan.

GUSTO MO BANG MANGYARI SA IYO ITO?

Just Plain Cheesy:

1.    (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.

2. Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?

3. Are you lost ma’am? Because heaven’s a long way form here.

4. Are you O.K.? Because heaven’s a long fall from here.

5. Uhh..hey baby

6. Hey baby, wanna play army?  I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me

7. Is you’re name gillette?  Cuz you’re the best a man could get!

8. As she’s leaving….Hey aren’t you forgetting something? She: What? Me!

9. Bond. James Bond.

10. Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?

11. Do you come here often?

12. Don’t worry about it. Nothing that you’ve ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we’re together.

13. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

14. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

15. Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

16. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

17. I have only three months to live. ..

18. I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.  <~Note from Mark, Never try this one on a Sr. girl.

19. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

20. I’m sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.

21. If I followed you home, would you keep me?

22. Stand still so I can pick you up!

23. Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on earth!

24. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

25. What’s your favorite position on extramarital sex?

26. What’s your sign? Or

27. What’s your sign?..Yield?

28. Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

29. Your daddy must have been a baker, ’cause you’ve got a nice set of buns.

30. Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

31. [Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

32. "Pinch me." "Why?" "You’re so fine I must be dreaming."

33. Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.

34. You’re daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!

35. You’re daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bullseye!

36. Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!

37. You must be from Pearl Harbor, ’cause baby, you’re the bomb.

38. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

39. Do you know karate? ‘Cause your body is really kickin’.

40. Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics i would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing which will win you an all expense paid date with me.

41. You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.

42. Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You’re cool cause you’re hot!

43. Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.

44. I must be a snowflake, ‘cuz I’ve fallen for you.

45. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

46. It’s my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?] No, but how about a kiss anyway?

47. What’s the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"

48. If you were a laser, you’d be set on "stunning"!

49. I’m good at math. U+I=69

50. Do I make you horny baby?

51.    Is this seat taken?     <~~A good comeback to this is to say "no, but this one will be if u sit down"

52. I would go to the end of the earth for u <~~A good comeback to this one is " But would you stay there?"

53. If I saw you naked I could die happy.  <~~Good comeback for this is "yeah, but if I saw u naked, I’d probally die "

54. My name’s [your name]That’s so you know what to scream.

55. Get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.

56. Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? ‘Cause that’s what I’m looking

57. (Walk into her chest) "If they weren’t sooo large, it wouldn’t have happened.

58. All those curves, and me with no brakes.

59. Are those space pants? Cuz your @$$ is out of this world!

60. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

61. Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

62. Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?

63. Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have        ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."

64. Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!

65. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

66. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

67. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

68. I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

69. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you bee drinking?

70. I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

71. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

72. I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.

73. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

74. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

75. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

76. Just where do those legs of yours end?

77. Let’s take a shower together — you smell.

78. Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are…gorgeous!

79. So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?

80. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons

81. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

82. Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good.

83. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

84. Wow! Are those real?

85. Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

86. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

87. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

88. You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.

89. You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

90. You should be someone’s wife.

91. You’re ugly but you intrigue me.

92. You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

93. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

94. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw.

95. Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.

96. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

97. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

98. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

99. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going….

100. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I’ll do it your way right away.

101. I’d like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

102. I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to"tinker" around with.

103. You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you’re the Bomb - diggity.

104. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

105. I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

106. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

107. Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night long.

108. If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

109. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

110. If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.

111. If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?

112. You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so

113. what’s one more going to hurt?

114. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a

115. light switch away.~~~LOL!!

116. Hi, I’m a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

117. I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?

118. My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard,and serve hot.

119. You be the tree, and I’ll wrap you like a Koala.

120. Hey baby, I’m like American Express, you don’t want to leave home without me.

121. Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

122. Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you’ll be screaming it all night long.

123. I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

124. Was you dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.

125. Want to play conductor?? You be the engineer and I’ll go Choochoo.

126. You must be Jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that.

127. The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue.

128. Guy: "haven’t I seen you someplace before?"

129. Girl: "Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore"

130. Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter …I stick to the roof of your mouth.

131. Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?

132. I lost my virginity…can I have yours?  -Thanks Erin!!

Lines That May Work!:

1. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel.

2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR:

3. I want to call your mother and thank her.

4. Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?

5. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

6. How was heaven when you left it?

7. I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!

8. I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

9. I’m sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.

10. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

11. If I followed you home, would you keep me?

12. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

13. I s there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

14. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.

15. So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!

16. What time do you have to be back in heaven?

17. What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.

18. What’s that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.

19. Where have you been all my life?

20. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

21. Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

22. You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.

23. You must be a hell of a thief ’cause you stole my heart from across the room.

24. .Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

25. Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

26. [ Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"

27. Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.

28. Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is July xx,xxxx, at 10:30 pm, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."

29. Ouch! My tooth hurts! Target: "Why?" Because you are sooo sweet!

30. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!

31. Is your dad a terrorist? Cause you’re the bomb.

32. Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.

33. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

34. If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.

35. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

36. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.

37. Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

38. (person walks in, and you say:) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!

39. When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.

40. If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

41. Hello.  (Hey, it works!)

42. Do you believe in love at first sight? or should I walk by again?

43. You are the reason men fall in love.

44. Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

45. Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl with the beautiful smile.

46. Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren’t you?

47. I feel like Richard Gere, I’m standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

48. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

49. Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.

50. Were your parents Greek Gods, ’cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

51. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

52. What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!

Your suicide note will be the last thing people have to remember you by.
Your relatives, friends, police officers, and others, will read it. In some cases, suicide notes, or parts of them, even get to the media. You might think that suicide notes would be the most carefully crafted documents, however in many cases, they are written carelessly and hastily.
The following tips are provided for people who want to leave a real impression.

Note: if you are not actually committing suicide because you want to die but are just looking to get attention, do not bother reading this. Your note will mean nothing once the doctors are done treating the scratches on your wrists or pumping the 2000mg of Advil out of your stomach. There are better ways of getting attention anyway. I suggest you try one of the many services for people who are only crying for help.

Tip #1
Start Early.
Getting an early start is important. If you can, start a few days before your suicide. Make sure you’re in a clear state of mind. You do not want to try to write your note while waiting for the pills you took to kick in, or have to rush through it before you bleed to death. Giving yourself enough time to write your note will help eliminate the most common mistakes.

Tip #2
Don’t try to say everything.
There are probably a lot of things you have on your mind, and you need to take some time and sort them out. Decide what is most important to say and leave out things that don’t matter. Decide now what you want your readers to come away with after reading your note. Eliminate those things that distract from that point.

Tip #3
Handwrite your note if you can.
A handwritten note is a lot more personal. However, if you are worried your letter will not be understood, or you are physically not able to write it by hand don’t worry about it. The important thing is that you get your message across.

Tip #4
Be natural.
Write the way you would speak. A good suicide note is personal, not formal. Don’t get out the thesaurus and look for the biggest words you can find. Be yourself.

Tip #5
Avoid cliché’s
Filling your note with phrases like "Goodbye cruel world" and "no one understands me" will make your note feel less like your thoughts and more like a form letter. Too many cliché’s and it can look like you are just going through the motions or that you are leaving a note because you feel that you should, but without having anything to say. If you want to say something but it sounds too cliché, try to re-word it a little.

Tip #6
In general, use first person.
It creates a sense of intimacy and makes it easier for a reader to see things from your point of view, if you want to use a different viewpoint, be sure that you stick to it throughout your whole note.

Tip #7
Don’t use your note like a will.
You might want your best friend to get your stereo but your suicide note is not the place to express that. If you want to leave certain things to certain people you should setup a will ahead of time. Just because you write it down does not make it legal, and it can be easily dismissed by the claim that you were not of sound mind when you wrote it.
Taking the time to set up a will will also help keep you from giving away your stuff in the months/weeks/days before the suicide. That’s one of the most obvious indications that you are thinking about killing yourself and will likly get you "saved", or at least make the process more difficult.

Tip #8
Be Honest.
Your note will be one of the last things you give the world to judge you by. If you include things that others can disprove, it can discount the entire note. Besides, there is not much reason for lying at this point, is there?

Tip #9
Don’t reveal your methods.
This is most important when taking poisons and pills. Telling everyone what you took just makes it easier for them to give you the treatments needed to revive you. Alternately, you do not want someone to find the note that details which bridge you’re jumping off of before you get that chance to jump. They might be able to stop you. People will find out how you did it once the autopsy reports come in anyway.

Tip #10
Don’t say anything you might regret.
There is always a chance that you will be found and "rescued". Suicide notes are not the place to rip into people, give away other’s secrets, or confess crimes. The last thing you want is to end up in a hospital bed, facing the people who read something you would never have told them while alive.

Tip #11
Don’t try to persuade the reader.
You do not want to spend your time trying to convince the reader that you are right. In most cases nothing you can say will change they way they feel. Your purpose is to express your point of view. It doesn’t matter if the reader shares your point of view or not, only that they understand it.

Tip #12
Proofread your note.
Re-read your note at least twice. It’s easy to make a simple mistake that distracts from the overall feel of the note. When reading over your note, there are a lot of things to look for. It’s better to read it several times, looking for something different each time then to try to remember it all while reading it over once.
Make sure the point you wanted to get across when you started writing is clear. Don’t be afraid to made edits, but be sure to read your note over again when you do.

Tip #13
Make your note easy to find
Take some time to consider where to leave your note. If you can’t leave it near you, be sure to leave it in an obvious location. Even if you want someone in particular to read your note first, avoid sending it to someone by mail. There are too many things that could go wrong and once you send it, it’s gone. Your note could get lost in the mail, or worse, it could reach someone before you can go though with it.

Tip #14
Check your note for flow.
Your note should progress rather then being a loose connection of thoughts and feelings. People reading your note should see that it is going somewhere. If you’re having a hard time, start with a sentence or two that sum up the point of the letter, and then end with a summary of the same topic. Every paragraph in between should support that point.

Tip #15
Make sure it’s not too long.
There is a reason it’s called a suicide note and not a novel. Try to keep it around two or three pages at the most. Avoid the temptation to mention or leave a little note to everyone you know. Not only does that get dull fast but you’re certain to leave someone out.